GRADUATION OF THE FUTUREFuture of reality TV charted at Sam’s grad party
Sam's graduation party last night was a blast... with a Sam-endorsed soundtrack to boot!
The flashing pool lights didn't have their usual partygoer magnetism, and so I was the only one to go in the pool. But my solo pool dancing just set the stage for what will more than likely prove to be the true legacy of Sam's party — the creation of two new highly acclaimed reality television shows.
Check out the first season of these two new shows, coming soon to a basic-cable network near you:
The Rock of Gay Love
MTV's hottest new dating show highlights the struggles of one gay man who spends 12 episodes agonizing over how to choose one of seven beautiful women... to not date or have sex with... because he's gay.
The Rock of Gay Love introduces seven hastily-named contestants to the reality TV scene, at least three of whom will have their own MTV dating shows next season or come back to stir things up in season two:
Raarrrr
Cornbread
Fuckin' Cleopatra Bitch
Light Stick Booty
Rocky Balboa (Spoiler alert: Rocky totally wins.)Fugitive Booty Butt Pirate
Also, in a shameless example of synergy, A Shot at Love II's Tila Tequila makes a guest appearance during a sweeps-week beat-down special.
America's Next Top Naked
Hosted by Bryra Banks and also featuring celebrity judges Heather and Raarrr, this groundbreaking new reality show sets out to answer the question, "Who at this party is gonna be the next to get naked?"
With rumors of "bitches gettin' naked" early in the season proving to be untrue, the competition soon takes a strange-yet-fierce turn with at least two or three episodes devoted to Ass Quarters. And in a sweeps-week shocker, Bryra has a breakdown just before the winning contestant is revealed.
America's Next Top Naked has already been such a smash hit in its first season that plans are being made for a number of spinoffs: America's Next Top Who's Not Naked Right Now?, America's Next Top Who Wants to Drink This and Get Naked? and America's Next Top Baby Holder Ball Catcher.
And casting calls for the second season of ANTN, tentatively titled America's Next Next Top Naked are being held throughout the summer at Loyolapalooza.