This may not bode well for my future children.

When I got a potted plant for my apartment back in May, it was quite the production. But I figured that things like finding the right size pot and figuring out which soil to get were part of my journey toward a more responsible adulthood. Sharing my apartment with and caring for another living thing would be the first step in a sequence that I figured would go something like plants → pets → children.

I was later informed that some very successful parents of children still have trouble keeping plants alive, and thank goodness because I have failed miserably as a plant parent.

Not only could I not figure out the right amount of water and sunlight to keep the poor dracaena's leaves from turning brown, but I also brought a living thing into my home that was accompanied by some very unwanted guests — tiny flying bugs.

Once my mom tracked the bugs to the plant, she put it outside my apartment for a spell, and I was happy to let it sit out there until I could figure out just what to do with it.

Well, today it was gone.

I'd like to think that the plant was just whisked away by someone in need, as usually happens to things left in the Bermuda Triangle on How I Met Your Mother. But really, I'm just counting my lucky stars that plant endangerment isn't a thing.